When and How to Detox Relationships
Relationships are a vital part of our lives. They come in all different shapes and sizes, whether romantic, friendship, colleagues or a family relationship, and all contribute to our emotional wellbeing. But it’s important to make sure all your relationships are benefitting you and not being detrimental to your wellbeing, and that might mean having a detox. It’s not always easy to take a step back and assess them, but we need to.
Detoxing or cleansing relationships means taking steps to reduce or eliminate their negative impact. This could be cutting ties with people who are not supportive, setting boundaries with those who take advantage of you, or simply spending less time with anyone who drains your energy.
- Identify unhealthy relationships: this can be challenging as they can be subtle and take time to manifest. Some common signs to look out for include feeling drained after spending time with someone, feeling unsupported or belittled, feeling like you're constantly giving without receiving, and feeling like you're always walking on eggshells.
- Set boundaries: once you've identified the less than good relationships in your life, the next step is to set boundaries. These are essential in all relationships, toxic or not. This can mean saying no to things that make you uncomfortable or taking a break from a relationship to regain your balance.
- Communicate effectively: communication is key in any relationship. It can help you express your needs and expectations, and also help you resolve conflicts. But if you’ve tried communicating effectively with toxic people, you’ll know it can be challenging. They may not be open to hearing your perspective as they are only interested in themselves and could well be manipulating situations without you realising. They play games with you and your feelings, and may even be gaslighting you. In these cases, it's important to set firm boundaries and prioritise your wellbeing.
- Surround yourself with positive people: positive people can uplift your mood, provide emotional support and encourage you to grow. Seek out people who share your values and beliefs and lift you up. Spend more time with them and enjoy their company – they provide a safe place where you can talk and feel free.
- Practice self-care: cleansing any relationship can be emotionally challenging and you need to take care of yourself during the process. This can mean practicing self-care activities such as meditation, exercise or spending time outdoors. Whatever activities you choose, make sure they help you relax, recharge and reset.
As mentioned, it’s not always obvious to you which of your relationships might be toxic. Look back at trigger points, what specifically upsets you? You might not even be aware that you need to detox. But when you talk to me, I will hear where your concerns lie and will ask the questions to help uncover if you are in an unhealthy relationship of any kind. I can help you be proactive, put coping mechanisms in place and find the strength to move on.
Toxicity in a relationship can happen for any number of reasons. We naturally grow and evolve, and some of us want change and growth, while others would rather remain static. Your personal relationships may suffer due to bereavement, redundancy or finances. Your work relationships could be put to the test because of the environment you’re in and the fact you don’t want to jeopardise your job.
Whatever the reason, the important thing is to recognise the toxicity and reduce it. There is help and support out there. Rather than becoming insular and at risk of losing your self-esteem, identity and confidence, find the inner strength to ask for help. Talking can let you see a different perspective. If you let yourself stay too long in a toxic relationship, you’ll find yourself putting walls up and losing trust in others. Instead, take that difficult first step and reach out for help. That is a sure sign of strength and belief in yourself. I am here to help, contact me to arrange a chat.