Helping Parents Help Their Children

Growing up is hard at the best of times. Children and young adults have a lot to cope with. Life throws lots of challenges at them that they need to learn to navigate. And that’s as well as fluctuating hormones and the pressures of friendships, family situations and social media.
Often they want the latest things to keep up with everyone else, but parents don’t have unlimited money to simply buy every gadget and item of clothing. This can lead to feeling excluded or being bullied and potentially withdrawing and communicating less. Add to this that as a parent you are pulled in several directions, needing to work, run a home, look after family members, safeguard your own health. It isn’t always possible for us to be there every minute of every day.

Ways to Help Your Children
There are ways and methods to help your children and let them know you’re there. Even if you can’t be there physically, showing that you have time and space for them can be invaluable. And creating a routine that carries through into everyday life can be so beneficial.

When you are in the same physical environment, stop and listen to what they’re saying and give them your undivided attention. Listen to what they’re not saying as well as what they are – while children can be incredibly direct, they are also masters at not revealing certain things. Listening is a real skill and one worth developing – you never know if you will get the same opportunity for your child to talk to you about that particular thing again.

As well as honing your listening skills, get in to the habit of chatting regularly about everyday things. Then when something isn’t going quite to plan, or they have a concern, it won’t feel such a big issue talking about it. Don’t forget children sometimes prefer talking to other adults or their peers. Let them know there are options available, and they will all be in strict confidence unless there is potential harm to them or others. You are aiming to build relationships and trust, understand their needs and what they are going through and plant the seed of thought. Let them think about what they want to do.

Talking is a great therapy and release. You need to be equipped to help your child, so giving yourself space and time is vital. As a personal and business coach, I spend a lot of time listening to my clients, letting them talk about anything they need to. It doesn’t have to be structured, just a flow of thoughts. The important thing is voicing those thoughts in the first place. I can help you shape them into an action plan or simply listen, without judgement. Once you feel strong and heard, you will be in a better place to assist others. I can also help you recognise the signs that something might be amiss at home.

A coach can help your child in the same way as helping you, by listening. Impartiality can help massively when it comes to your child talking to someone. And I can work with your child to make sense of their thoughts and feelings, helping them realise that they’re not alone, and that everyone faces similar struggles. I can share techniques to help them or simply encourage them to find their own path through. There are other routes and support services available too, such as CAMHS and counselling in or outside of school. If availability or support is not forthcoming, come to me as the first step, enabling the process to begin.

It may sound like a cliché, but our children are the future and we need to invest in them. We can’t leave it all to the schools. They are overwhelmed with pressure from the local authorities to perform well, meet stats and can easily overlook individual children. If we don’t start helping our children, there’s a real concern that in 10-15 years’ time, they won’t be equipped to deal with life.
It’s up to us to help our children overcome their struggles, no matter how trivial they may seem to us, and to help them grow in confidence, learn how to be resilient and be the best and happiest versions of themselves. It’s important to learn about boundaries, how to communicate and respect each other as well as being honest and open. We all start out with a positive mindset and so we can tap into this with our young people and allow them to rediscover it. Coaching for you and them can help positive changes to happen.
If you would like to find out more about how personal coaching can help you or your child, please book a free 30-minute call with me.

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